The majority of my day, as far as my imagination is concerned, was spent discerning my dreams of late. They spread their wings of creative nonsense so often that my sleeping life is more exhausting than my waking life. I'd be better off staying up all night reading or dancing even having to work the next day than actually trying to put in an 8hr snooze encouraging r.e.m. and attempting to function tomorrow. It's a circle of tainted desire. I'm sleepy. I go to bed. I expect rejuvenation. I enter into an energetic world of ideas, and colors, and adventures, and fears, and inventions. Instead, it forcefully drains me of my industriousness.
The one that really wears me out happens to be a nightmare, and a recurring one. Admitting this might be incriminating. I constantly am dressed in awkward apparel and usually putting on make-up. Darkness and whispers surround me. Heavy velvet curtains are linked by braided gold sashes. Funny little people scurry around me repeating the same line over and over again, whatever it might be for that particular dream, and then they pause, growl at me and mumble about how I'm in the way, and question why am I am not on stage and.......then it hits. I'm in a play. I don't know my freaking lines. My costume is from the wrong time period. My accent sucks. My lines are obsolete from memory. And there is silence on stage, surely to be filled with my coming lines. The stage is too big for just a little me...but the cast is pushing me on the stage. I wonder if a song and dance will throw the crowd? If they'll notice I'm a oddly rigid and clumsy? I stumble on stage "acting" confident. Determined by accident rather than design I squeeze out a word.
Then I wake up, breathing heavily mind you.
This happens more often than I like to get mocked so I shouldn't have mentioned this at all. Thinking of it makes me laugh so hard. It's funny ha-ha. And now I'm scared to go to sleep.
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3 comments:
I only get scared to sleep when I see a horror flick. I limit my horror flicks to 1 every 2 years.
I have a recurring dream of being in Cape Town, mainly False Bay. I can't wait to go back.
two words four ewe: the rapy
or, if'n you cain't affoid the rapy, do two the fact that the doc isa likely two bee interpratin an enalizing yore dureams for yeas, i sugjest my own persnal remediy of 'boogle the google'(dnot pretend ya ain't comprahindin) and a glass of milk rite be four ewe lai up. if'n it don't work rite off, i always trie an go round a couple mo times, and i don't seem to duream none whatsoever. if'n i does dream, theys is usely the happy sort. hope this saves ewe some serious moolah. i four shur nose i's happy.
beast of luck two ewe
Your Modest Mouse quote struck me. A different city.... I too live life for my moments and loves. I never use the internet, but I was looking for info on Modest's Edit the Sad Parts song. I guess it's on Interstate 8, but that's been out of print for years. Anyways, I was using search engines, and somehow arrived at your website. Your dreaming reminds me of some books written by Carlos Castaneda about his experience with a Shaman, Don Juan. The whole story is of Toltec Dreaming and the inherent powers within(if you haven't already read) I hope your life brings you peace and wellness.
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