a sensation of sudden fear

It's time to bail...
and it's just become the hour of admittance.

But the reality of vulnerability drops heavy,
making it hard to breathe.
Pain comes with reality.
and heartbreak with pain.
and bitterness with heartbreak.
and reclusiveness with bitterness.
and misunderstanding with reclusiveness.
and discomfort and paranoia and unconfidence with misunderstanding.

It's time to bail...
and it's just barely become the hour of admittance.

enchanted

These eyelids, though taped open,
brutally defy my notion to continue consciously through today.
These delicately monstrous mountains,
though snow-capped and breathtaking,
do not offer the jolting burst of awareness I need.
This music, though melodically inviting,
cannot peel me from my delusion.
This coffee, though fantastically strong like crude oil, so much so
there are beans getting stuck in my teeth like chaw,
doesn't shake and grate this delirious mind.
Confused and confound to my snow cabinet,
this sleep deprived insanity
drives me to spout of hatred for lack of the snoozer.

Creation to Creator

"Though I may fall short
when on this world's scale
I've been weighed,
but it's an honor to know
in your image
I've been made."

-Everybody Died

To Will

So, the wildabeast that ate your arm off in your dream crept into my world and crawled up my nose. Picture this: me, you, Amber, Danny and the lady that works at the Starbucks all sitting on a hot southern day at an Asian flea market building houses with chopsticks. A spider, godzilla size mind you, crawls up my nose. I'm freaking out. You and fellow dream participants don't care. So in my attempt for survival I stick a chopstick up my nose and pull out only half the body. Suddenly, a nearby ski instructor (at the southern Asian flea market?) informs me that if I chug 2 PBR's quickly that it will drown out the possibility of the eggs to attach to any olfactory epithiletham glands and hatch. So of course a beer fridge suddenly appears and I grab 2 of my favorites and funnel them. And it is not until this point you guys finally pay attention to my pain, and even then, only to tell me I'm being a bad witness to the Asian children. Man. What a night. Happy Valentines to me.

a fellow blogger friend of mine, Jev, must have read my journal last night because I do believe he posted the same thing I was going to say. And to quote him (quoting my mind), "blogging isn't about being interesting, or clever, or astute, or sounding intellegent, or deep; it's about being yourself. And sometimes, yourself is very boring." http://scrumtrelecent.blogspot.com

and this is where you expect me to bleed my soul onto this screen but instead that's all I'm going to say. 'Cause even though I hold strongly to his words I can't quite seem to squeeze out that part of me that admits boredom. ha ha. I'm a sucker for entertainment. But thanks for stealing my thoughts Jev.

a poem, a bloody big bomb...what if a sonnet went off accidentally?

The mystery of a play is what keeps the audience in their seats until completion. And in a good play, an excellent play, a moving play, actors and actresses will continue to remember their lines forever, even dreaming about them years down the road. And in a good play, an excellent play, a moving play, audiences will continue rehashing that night they went to the theatre, even quoting lines and imitating characters, and praising the cast.

The mystery of a personality, a motivating, an honest, an enigmatical riddle or sorts, is what keeps one coming back to get their cup filled full.

in you may i bask, just a smile or two?

A cord of amusement you pull
from me, out of the core
great and terrible sufficing power
I want you to sustain,
to remain, to attain me.
arms like strong towers
legs as volcanic powers
burst into my life and embrace me,
intice me.
Be concise with me.

fireside

I've got all night
to ponder the
pains of the human heart.
Why does it hurt?
Why? When it's not even me who loves.
Why does it hurt to not love?

salon jazz

Leave the Keys Behind to Rest

He picked my heart through the piano strings
like soldiers on the line to defend
She ate my soul with her breath
like the encompassing winds of nature destroy
They gave me life through their dancing
like electricity in my bones
Kiss my cheek, Love, in sweet romancing
and you'll never be alone.

Can you clap in the moonlight as I inhale you?
Let the curve of sound be your guide
Will you dance me to the cliff of your imagination?
For to this heart I am tied.

cultivating faith

the bouncing floor seems to seep from the waves of fiction in my mind. I know it's real. I know I stand pulsing with every drum beat. Swing on down to me. Vibrations of bodies against me dancing with flawless inhibition propel my ecstasy. As if endorphins injected directly into my blood stream swim like dolphins though my veins, I scream and move to my contentment's music. Peeling through the colored red, orange, green foggy lights, my sight encompasses a satisfaction personified. I am so happy. I would change nothing other than to be like liquid, shoulder to shoulder with you.

got luv on the mind

somehow i thought you could read my mind

A word is said--spoken--so to speak
to you, from me
delicately
diligently
inherently
but incorrectly.
(Not to you, Silly, ...him, *wink*
So sorry, Love.)
But I take it back now.
For had you loved me,
broadened your gates,
untainted your
strict structure,
I would've given you the words
and multiplied them.
But now they're lost...
in the air,
under the bridge,
in my tears,
on the road,
melting in the woods.
And you could've had me
You could've had me--for all time...
But you passed through my life like a dream in my head.
A fleeting memory now I consider quite dead.

In a world so gargantuanly round
With years to penetrate the visual sound
I've journied the earth's inviting crown
And here in my soul is what I've found

Will it always be this way? stuck on me, stuck on you?
Stuck so far from those baby blues?
Can you hear the music singing our tune,
as I want nothing more than to be next to you?
How long will adventure act as my guide,
when all the while I adventure just to get you by my side.

I prefer numerous journals of all colors and sizes and characters as some women prefer men. They satisfy me, and variety is good for the mystery.