Concerning Love Lost

I'd love to scream and shake and growl, pressing my intertwining thoughts of this mind and the people it effects into immediate action, benefiting my sanity of course. But the slow burn of learning is finally seeping in like light, the kind that leads and teaches, except when you're tired and then the blinds seem to let the only light in through the crack that burns directly into your eyes.

Be gentle with me knowledge. I can only act so fast if I want this to be sincere. I know a godly patience is more beneficial than taking matters into my own hands inevitably screwing it up. That much I can understand. However, I think it's too late. Even in the midst of understanding that concept, Omniscient let me have my way, leading me to believe, or rather, letting me choose to believe through my stubbornness, that it was Providence all fell into place as it had. Why then, did it fall so quickly out of place, so distraught, so mutilated, so wrenched with a distance and quenched with emotional solitude? But alas, so many arguments and "tactful" thoughts I'd love to share, discuss, pine over, but the situation of open doors has not arrived and probably will not, judging by the eminent reality.

My faithful Father of forgiveness, accepting his love for me to be sufficient must consume me. Peace be with my soul. One that surpasses all understanding. It is not I who has the healing touch of grace that can reach in almost metaphysically and tweak the heart's strings to sound a note of communion. I cannot force into action any mind, any dream, any act of pursuance by he any more than a hurricane can get its speed without the heavenly ordination of our Creator, my Father, giving tug to the winds of space.

So this is my chance of renewal of mind, therefore also renewal of body--for the body will react to the mind's persuasions and temptations. I hand my burden over to you Lord. I hand over my need to control this situation. I hand over my longings. I hand over my desire to make it make sense. I hand over the power to you to patch the hearts of his and mine.