Skittish: Smokey Ramblings of the Tin Box Bunny

Something is always far away.

My feet dangled from the moving chair in anticipation. The full morning moon caught me in a staring contest. For a moment I wished it was you. A salty thing to taste rolled from my eye down my cheek to the corner of my lips. I'm convinced it was from the bitter wind chill, but undoubtedly missing you was the only thing on my mind. I looked around, sat back in my chair to get the bigger picture, as there are always 4-17 perspectives for every view, and I noticed how the moon seemed to perfectly nuzzle itself in the valley.

Some things are always far from me.

The tingling crackle of my fickleness sounds to shed this layer of indecision. You've quite ruined my world ya know, mushing my thoughts all mimbly bimbly of sorts. I've got one constant in my life and that is my wanting you. At a glance, all the world seems put together. But that's a lonely answer. We want to think just that for hope's sake. The unrevolutionary idea that we have no business even putting one foot in front of the next for fear of the soon and coming cliff is more realistic. We are either ridiculously numb creatures frolicking in our own disease of mistakes by forgetting past errors and continuing in naivete or we are more likely, pressing forward in a bravery even to which history cannot give ample credit.

The princess cannot even fall asleep on a mushy pea masked by 20 mattresses but I alone can fall asleep on a hard plastic 32 oz Nalgene bottle, and due to sheer exhaustion, manage to get in an 8hr snooze. And, if every once in awhile everyone doesn't wash their clothes in dish soap or see a monster across the room in broad daylight in public, then maybe my thinking I'm like the rest of humanity is far from the truth. But wait, I've never thought I was much like the rest of you.

Maybe some things aren't so far away.

Consider yourself a pioneer for new thought. New thinking for yourself, a new life on the horizon, a new path to be blazed. You're a pioneer for a new adventure as your soul seeks it fresh.

I once thought Molly's apartment was obnoxiously small. I now see it as spectacularly telling. We, you and I that is, could not run from each other...Except in circles...And I see that as a game...And also one in which I'd like to be caught. Sell your house to the maker. Give your heart to the creator. Leave your baggage at the door. Give your money to the poor. Play a song for your girl and lend me all your kisses.

There's a time to kayak and a time to sleep. There's a time to grow your own garden and a time to eat beef jerky all day. There's a time to smoke a Bali Mai clove and a time to swim 6 miles. There's a time to use a tent and a time to wake up to a curious moose. There's a time to snowboard until it's illegal and a time to roll naked down a snowy hill. There's a time to be clean and a time to drive back from the beach with salt and sand in every crevice of your body. There's a time to guard your heart and a time to be blatantly honest. There's a time to roll with the wind and a time for change. Something here must change.

Some things are so close to me. Maybe you are exactly where I need you.